I Have I(rritable)B(owel)S(yndrome)

I guess I could just say this in person, seeing as how for the first time on a Monthiversary I am actually in very close contact with Matt and Jeni, but...

Happy Fourth Monthiversary!!!

(ION, I shall be in Kentucky until the fifth. Thus I will miss seeing many out of towners. Sorry ya'll. Also, I would like some advice on when to celebrate pre-marital (month/ann)iversaries. Do you start counting at the first date, or the day an explicit commitment was made, or maybe some other day? I'm new to all this, but from what I understand, I am supposed to just go with what Rachelle says. That ain't gonna happen. blah blah blah blah blah....)

•Ferret carriers, with their intended cargo, are legal airline carry-ons.

•Said ferrets may bear the names Chronic and Mary Jane.

•Chinese buffets in North Carolina may serve mozerella sticks and pizza.

•Taco Bell burritos served in the Dallas-Ft. Worth airport are smaller than the state's lore would have one expect.

•Despite being closer to Cajun country than ever before in his life, a certain Angeleno still ate at the Popeye's in the Atlanta airport.

•Trees are cool.

•(other stuff....)

'Tis a day of Great History, for in 8 hours and 36 minutes, Andrew James Price will clock out of the Northridge branch of Sears, Robeck and Company for the last time.

As many of you may know, I live in a house of all guys. Now, some of the stereotypes of this situation are correct: empty pizza boxes in the kitchen, constant faux harassment between roommates, and “science experiments”.

One recent science experiment was a platter of Subway sandwiches that Bobby brought home from a shoot. The refrigerator is pretty full so they never made it in. Instead they decided to grow quite a mane to protect themselves from the elements. And it was quite a mane indeed.

I myself have participated in the insanity too. I like applesauce from time to time, but not always, so applesauce has a tendency to stay in the fridge for a while. Today turned out to be one of the few days that I would choose to partake in the simple concoction. So I reach in the fridge and blindly fumble around to find the aging jar. I find it and pull it out. But wait, this is not the most recent jar. Turns out that I had opened another jar before I was totally finished with the last one. Well, might as well clean it out.

It must have been in there for quite a while, and I must have closed it pretty tight. There was no visible mold, so it was probably hermetically sealed, a jar in total homeostasis. Well, things were not quite so inactive. I go to open the jar and…










Kaboom!!!

The jar goes off with a huge pop and sprays applesauce into the next room. I guess it must have fermented or something. Pretty disgusting, but totally worth it. I mean seriously, take the cheap thrills where you can get ‘em.

Oh yeah, and eat you fruits and vegetables.

Life is strange, isn't it. I mean, you start off not knowing anything except that delivery rooms are very bright and air is quite undense. Then you just kinda float around in the societal soup until one day you are a seemingly fully formed human being of 21 years that still has so many questions about this world we live in are still unanswered. Weird.

And then one day, when the world seems to be getting crazier and crazier, and all that you have learned is not even a fraction of what can be known, your brain pipes in and asks the all important question Why have I never heard the word flavourite before?

So I finally found one of those online survey things that I think really deserves to be completed by me. I know, you’re all thinking A.J. has finally sold out, but really it is just a way too get all of you guys to stop deifying me. Seriously guys. Genghis man, Genghis.

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Vitals
Name: Andrew James Price
Age: 21
Location: In front of some sort of glowing box.
Birthplace: St Joe’s in Burbank
Burbank, eh? Pretty lame: Uhhhh….? What?!

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Favourites
Movie: Shawshank Redemption, or maybe The Core
TV Show: M.A.S.H.
Isn’t that weird how they had a black guy in the early episodes called Spearchucker?: Those 70’s man… crazy times.
Radio Programme: Santa Monica City Council
Good choice: Thanks
Band: Probably U2, but Radiohead often works its way up there
Wow… that’s original: Shut up!
Pink Floyd album: Dark Side of the Moon. Tim says The Wall is better.
What an idiot: Tell me about it
Food: Veal, potatoes, and stale things
Alright. Stale things. Moving on…: Hey! That’s just about enough from you!
Next category…

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Last Time you…
Ate: ‘bout half an hour ago. I got a new Calphalon One fry pan today and I’ve been cooking lots of stuff.
Interesting… Not!!!: …
Slept: Last night.
Woke up: This morning. Are these the only questions you could come up with?
Did a stupid survey: Right now.
Wait, you must be doing another one simultaneously then?: Ummm… yeeaaaaahhhh….
Been lampy: All right! I’m done! If you can’t give me just a little respect then I don’t think this is going to work.
Fine!: Fine!

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Well, now we can see why I don’t do those.

In the bizarre epic that is my mind, bobbywood often takes the role of illustrator. In case you haven't seen it yet:



If you totally get this, you are a big, fat nerd. Yes, that means you, Brad!

So, after getting a working CD player back in my car I have come to the following realization:

Linkin Park : Jaded Teenagers :: Peter Gabriel : Jaded ex-Hippies