I Have I(rritable)B(owel)S(yndrome)

Happy Quarter Paper Anniversary!!!

Today I recorded my friend Chris Ing today. (Yes. I know. I typed it twice.) He plays the wood horn, or, saxophone. Anyway, he needs a grad school audition CD so he enlisted my help. So I recorded him today, and got very tired in the process.

After I finished with the recording and had some dinner I went over to Rachelle's house, still tired. We watched À la folie... pas du tout, which was good, but it was French, and thus had subtitles, and thus tired me out more.

So I got home and listened to some of the recordings, but there were multiple peeps in the room, so I kept the headphones off one ear as to not miss any of the conversation. Well, the partial deafness and much tiredness took it's toll and part of the conversation was jumbled:

Someone in the Room: (something, something, something) M(mumble)...y's blog (something, something, something)

I then perk up and sound in confusion, "Moby's Blog?" I was wrong. Apparently Marie's blog was the one in question. But then it got me thinking: Does Moby have a blog? Does he apologize for any of his music on it? Is it very well presented but incredibly boring?

Ta Da!!!

Long story short, I've been drinking water since I got home, making sleep all that more distant. I'm not a very smart man.

Geetha Vivekaandamorthy's Blog

So there is this rare but all too real phenomenon that our friend Zeke has discovered. Most know, but some don't, of the Zekecellation. What is it? Simple. Like or equivalent things cancel each other out. One such example is as follows:

Random Guy (Who may have in fact been Peter): I'm gonna eat some cake for breakfast, but that is unhealthy. I will eat something else to Zekecellate it. I know! Someone give me a Pepsi!

I myself experienced a Zekecellation the other day.

So I'm at school and a class just ends. I promptly pull a banana out of my pocket and have at it. So I'm eatin' the banana and walkin' back to my car to fill it with water 'cause I have a leaky radiator. I should get that fixed. Anyway, before I start filling the car I have to put down the empty banana peel. I place it on top of the Blazer and continue with my business.

Many hours pass. In fact, a whole day passes. I go out to my car in the morning and am caught off gaurd by the out of place thing on top of my car. I reach up and lo and behold, it's the peel! Now, how is this a Zekecellation? Well, it violates two of the most basic laws of physics that there are.

1. Anything left on top of a car is lost forever.
2. Banana peels are ridiculously slippery. (At least that is what cartoons have led me to believe.)

The days of Newton are over. Thank you, Gabriel Loiderman!!!(?)

Why I am Limping

or

A Caution to Those Contemplating Kicking a Giant Picture of a Bridge

If only we were monotremes.

(Thanks for the word Rachelle!)

For David, and anyone else who enjoys the comic timing of the Dalai Lama. Excerpt from an interview with His Holiness Tenzin Gyatso, circa 1993:

Q: In a recent issue of the Buddhist magazine Tricycle, the actor Spalding Gray asked you about your dreams, and you said you sometimes dreamtof women fighting.
A: Women fighting? No, no. . . . What I meant was that, in my dreams, sometimes women approach me and I immediately realize, "I'm bhikshu, I'm monk." So you see, this is sort of sexual. . . .
Q: In your dreams, you realize this and you "fight" the feeling?
A: Yes. Similarly, I have dreams where someone is beating me and I want to respond. Then, immediately I remember, "I am monk and I should not kill."
Q: Do you ever experience rages? Even Jesus had rages.
A: Don't compare me with Jesus. He is a great master, a great master. . .. But as to your question, when I was younger, I did get angry. In the past 30 years, no. One thing, the hatred, the ill-feeling, that's almost gone.
Q: So what are your weaknesses and faults?
A: Laziness.
Q: It is said that you get up at 4 in the morning. How can you be lazy?
A: It's not that kind of laziness. For instance, sometimes, when I visitsome Western countries, I develop an enthusiasm to improve my English. Butwhen I actually make the effort to study, after a few days, my enthusiasm isfinished. [Laughs.] That is laziness. Other weaknesses are, I think, angerand attachments. I'm attached to my watch and my prayer beads. Then, of course, sometimes beautiful women. . . . But then, many monks have the same experience. Some of it is curiosity: If you use this, what is the feeling?[Points to his groin.]

Today, in Roger Graham's Mass communication class:

Student: The Scarecrow wanted a brain.
RG: What'd he end up getting?
Student: A diploma.
RG: Sounds like some of you!

:::::Edit:::::

More of the genius that is Roger Graham:

First day of class. Students are confused on class locations, Roger is confused about other things:
"Statistics?! I can't even get the damn pen to write!"

Roger on solving problems between states and nations:
"You can all go out and dig rivers!"

Roger on... ummm... puppets!
"I only go for the big puppets! I'm no sissy!"

w00+!!!

Election'd!!!

Anyway, my closing thoughts.

So Carlos found this on the Int-R-Web. I did no editing except to point out what it actually says. (click on the picture for a better view)

Rocked!!!

But then I noticed something lurking in the foreground...

I think I may have found the real culprit in Tuesday's results...

No confusing ballots...

No racist poll workers...

No missing boxes...

We finally have proof of what we've suspected all along...



The Kerry Got Rocked Dragon!!!