Monday, July 28, 2003
So the other day I was biking to the general mall vicinity when much to my suprise I see another biker in the lane ahead of me. He was biking slower than me, so to avoid a messy entanglement I speed up a bit and pass him on the left. I then reach Corbin and Plummer and get stopped up at a light for about 2 minutes. In this time the other biker catches up to me. He reaches the intersection right as the light informs us that forward motion in now lawful. Seeing as how he was still moving and I was stationary he passes me by. He then makes some smart ass comment about me wasting my energy by biking faster than him and me not taking into consideration the dynamics of traffic lights. Quite smarmy. The Turtle and the Hare complex I guess. Now here's the best part. As he was saying all this crap I proceed to pull out and burn his ass once again. Whammo!!!
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Man, when God decided to make the cashew... so incredibly on the ball.
Sunday, July 13, 2003
So the other day at the Sears I was down working at the Men’s Cashwrap. “Cashwrap” is a word that exists only in Sears as far as I can tell. It is a conglomeration of registers and poorly made bags in a counter-ish enclosure. Men’s is right by the main entrance to the store so we get a lot of people coming in to make payments on their credit cards. They just come in and go to the first register they see.
So this woman was making a payment. Yup. She couldn’t speak the English. So I’m trying to walk her through her writing of a check from the safe distance of a foreign language. She gets to the part where she must write the name of who may cash said check. I proceed to point at my name badge that says “Sears” on it. She writes this down. When she hands me the check I look at it and notice it does not say “SEARS” but “SARS”. I find this very funny but must continue. My quest: Put the “E” in “SARS”. So I point at it and say “E”.
Being of the Hispanic persuasion she writes an “I”. I then try to remember back to my high school days and the 4 years I spent taking 2 years of Spanish. My brain proceeds to tell me “E”=”eh”. My body decides to ignore this advice and proceeds to make the common sign for the number “3” in my right hand. I then move my hand in such a fashion as to illustrate drawing the 3 lines that are required to turn an “I” into and “E”. Amazingly, she understood. She then hands me the check again. She has left the amount line blank because she doesn’t know how to write “twenty”. I write it for her. I suppose I could have written it all myself, but that wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.
In other Sears news, Human Resources has finally gotten on the ball and hired a really hot cashier. Their all up ons the ball with that move.
So this woman was making a payment. Yup. She couldn’t speak the English. So I’m trying to walk her through her writing of a check from the safe distance of a foreign language. She gets to the part where she must write the name of who may cash said check. I proceed to point at my name badge that says “Sears” on it. She writes this down. When she hands me the check I look at it and notice it does not say “SEARS” but “SARS”. I find this very funny but must continue. My quest: Put the “E” in “SARS”. So I point at it and say “E”.
Being of the Hispanic persuasion she writes an “I”. I then try to remember back to my high school days and the 4 years I spent taking 2 years of Spanish. My brain proceeds to tell me “E”=”eh”. My body decides to ignore this advice and proceeds to make the common sign for the number “3” in my right hand. I then move my hand in such a fashion as to illustrate drawing the 3 lines that are required to turn an “I” into and “E”. Amazingly, she understood. She then hands me the check again. She has left the amount line blank because she doesn’t know how to write “twenty”. I write it for her. I suppose I could have written it all myself, but that wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining.
In other Sears news, Human Resources has finally gotten on the ball and hired a really hot cashier. Their all up ons the ball with that move.
Sunday, July 06, 2003
A.J.'s Recent Monetary Expenditures with Commentary
6 Plastic Hangers
$1.54 at Sears
I needed hangers. These ones were cheap. I used my amazing 10% discount and my Sears Mastercard. At that price I would only need to buy 2338 hangers to qualify for a Sears Premiere card.
One Black Knit Short Sleeve Shirt and Double Pleated Lee Khakis
About $28 at Sears
New dress code at work. Business casual as it is called. It makes potbellies stick out more. It also makes me dress like bobbywoo five days out of the week.
Two Event Tuned Reference 8 Monitors (of the sound speaker variety)
$494 at the Guitar Center
Very expensive and very cool. As bobbywoo said, I now have the best computer speakers in our little peer group. I can't stop listening to "Regulators" by Warren G and Nate Dogg.
Two 12 ounce cans of Pepsi
$1.50 for both cans in the Sears Break Room
I've stopped eating at work, but I still get thirsty. I tried to buy a Dr. Pepper on Friday but the machine said it was out despite the fact that I could see the bottle just sitting there waiting for me to rip it's head off and consume the sweet poison that is high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). There was another one in there today, but it was stuck behind a Diet Dr. Pepper which would obviously not quell my desire for the HFCS. I ended up buying the Pepsi both days.
One Bargain Matinee Ticket for Terminator 3
$7.00 at the Winnetka 21
So incredibly worth it! Doggy!
6 Plastic Hangers
$1.54 at Sears
I needed hangers. These ones were cheap. I used my amazing 10% discount and my Sears Mastercard. At that price I would only need to buy 2338 hangers to qualify for a Sears Premiere card.
One Black Knit Short Sleeve Shirt and Double Pleated Lee Khakis
About $28 at Sears
New dress code at work. Business casual as it is called. It makes potbellies stick out more. It also makes me dress like bobbywoo five days out of the week.
Two Event Tuned Reference 8 Monitors (of the sound speaker variety)
$494 at the Guitar Center
Very expensive and very cool. As bobbywoo said, I now have the best computer speakers in our little peer group. I can't stop listening to "Regulators" by Warren G and Nate Dogg.
Two 12 ounce cans of Pepsi
$1.50 for both cans in the Sears Break Room
I've stopped eating at work, but I still get thirsty. I tried to buy a Dr. Pepper on Friday but the machine said it was out despite the fact that I could see the bottle just sitting there waiting for me to rip it's head off and consume the sweet poison that is high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). There was another one in there today, but it was stuck behind a Diet Dr. Pepper which would obviously not quell my desire for the HFCS. I ended up buying the Pepsi both days.
One Bargain Matinee Ticket for Terminator 3
$7.00 at the Winnetka 21
So incredibly worth it! Doggy!
