Monday, May 03, 2004
One of my fancy boxes (Digi 002 Rack) that I use for recording has been misbehaving. I'll called up the folks over at the company that makes it (Digidesign, in Menlo Park) and said:
Me: Dude?
Dude: Alright, dude.
(Actual conversation may vary.)
Anyway, they arranged to have me send it back and they would fix it for free. Awesome. They decided to use FedEx. Let me tell you, FedEx is the most awesomest company in the world. I got home like at 2:50 and was informed by Mr. Woo that I got a letter from FedEx. I open it up and see that it is a shipping label with instructions. I seal up my box, put on the label, and call to set up a pick up. Turns out you need a FedEx account to do this. So I set one up. I then call again to schedule the pick up. I talked to a robot the whole time, and the robot was incredibly adept at it's job. It understood words and numbers, and made helpful suggestions. I'm sure it would've been harder with a real person. So I set it up and decide to wait for the pick up. Doorbell rings at 3:20 and the package is sent. Yes, it only took 30 minutes for all of that. FedEx is awesome.
Questions
Mea: "If the earth's orbit was the size of a quarter, then the Oort cloud would be a giant beach ball [how many?!] feet wide!!" How many cows could a snowplow plow if a snowplow could plow cows?
The Oort Cloud is the cloud of terrestrial matter floating around the outside of the solar system. It is planetary matter that never formed a planet. That quote is from a book that Tim and I read when we did our comets, asteroids, and planetoids report in eighth grade. The answer is fifty feet. But she got the quote wrong. That should be "If the solar system were the size of a quarter..." not "If the earth's orbit was the size of a quarter..." What I especially like about the quote is the lack of simile. One could conclude from the quote that if the solar system somehow shrank, the Oort Cloud would become an actual beach ball. I am a semantic bastard. One time I won a round of reverse dictionary golf with "Oort Cloud". To play reverse dictionary golf you open up a dictionary, point to a word at random, and have the other people playing try to guess the word alphabetically closest to it's spelling, backwards. The original word was "kangaroo". This happened at CalTech. As for the cows, I think there is some OSHA regulation that prevents one from plowing cows.
David: why havent we watched spinal tap in i dont know how long? why isnt marie always covered in pancakes? (please no offense to take, i.e. i do not imply marie is a dog, or that she really ought to be covereed in pancakes at all times, becasue as she is, is the best way for her to be. i think i covered all the bases there. why do i get a rash in my armpits from some deoderants?
As the ratio of boys to girls at Tim's birthbays approached unity, Spinal Tap approached null. I'm not in the position to guess as to why that is, seeing as how half of that relation remains a mystery to me. I think Marie is trying to tan. The pancake might get in the way of that. As for the deoderant, the simple answer is that you are allergic to armpits. I suggest growing some sort of flap.
Tim: is there anything andrew doesn't know?
No. I know everything. Stop doing that. It will hurt in the morning.
Peter: what is kinesiology? and why should i care?
Doing a picture search with Google has led me to the conslusion that kinesiology is that art of moving other people's limbs.
This should be useful to you, seeing as how one day that smart mouth of your's is going to get your knee caps busted. Watch your back, anusface!
Me: Dude?
Dude: Alright, dude.
(Actual conversation may vary.)
Anyway, they arranged to have me send it back and they would fix it for free. Awesome. They decided to use FedEx. Let me tell you, FedEx is the most awesomest company in the world. I got home like at 2:50 and was informed by Mr. Woo that I got a letter from FedEx. I open it up and see that it is a shipping label with instructions. I seal up my box, put on the label, and call to set up a pick up. Turns out you need a FedEx account to do this. So I set one up. I then call again to schedule the pick up. I talked to a robot the whole time, and the robot was incredibly adept at it's job. It understood words and numbers, and made helpful suggestions. I'm sure it would've been harder with a real person. So I set it up and decide to wait for the pick up. Doorbell rings at 3:20 and the package is sent. Yes, it only took 30 minutes for all of that. FedEx is awesome.
Questions
Mea: "If the earth's orbit was the size of a quarter, then the Oort cloud would be a giant beach ball [how many?!] feet wide!!" How many cows could a snowplow plow if a snowplow could plow cows?
The Oort Cloud is the cloud of terrestrial matter floating around the outside of the solar system. It is planetary matter that never formed a planet. That quote is from a book that Tim and I read when we did our comets, asteroids, and planetoids report in eighth grade. The answer is fifty feet. But she got the quote wrong. That should be "If the solar system were the size of a quarter..." not "If the earth's orbit was the size of a quarter..." What I especially like about the quote is the lack of simile. One could conclude from the quote that if the solar system somehow shrank, the Oort Cloud would become an actual beach ball. I am a semantic bastard. One time I won a round of reverse dictionary golf with "Oort Cloud". To play reverse dictionary golf you open up a dictionary, point to a word at random, and have the other people playing try to guess the word alphabetically closest to it's spelling, backwards. The original word was "kangaroo". This happened at CalTech. As for the cows, I think there is some OSHA regulation that prevents one from plowing cows.
David: why havent we watched spinal tap in i dont know how long? why isnt marie always covered in pancakes? (please no offense to take, i.e. i do not imply marie is a dog, or that she really ought to be covereed in pancakes at all times, becasue as she is, is the best way for her to be. i think i covered all the bases there. why do i get a rash in my armpits from some deoderants?
As the ratio of boys to girls at Tim's birthbays approached unity, Spinal Tap approached null. I'm not in the position to guess as to why that is, seeing as how half of that relation remains a mystery to me. I think Marie is trying to tan. The pancake might get in the way of that. As for the deoderant, the simple answer is that you are allergic to armpits. I suggest growing some sort of flap.
Tim: is there anything andrew doesn't know?
No. I know everything. Stop doing that. It will hurt in the morning.
Peter: what is kinesiology? and why should i care?
Doing a picture search with Google has led me to the conslusion that kinesiology is that art of moving other people's limbs.
This should be useful to you, seeing as how one day that smart mouth of your's is going to get your knee caps busted. Watch your back, anusface!
