Sunday, March 07, 2004
So Anna is now gone from Sears. Now there is no one there that I can say "lampy" to and not have them glare at me like I am an idiot. The last thing we talked about was towels. She was telling me what towels we were going to buy when we got married. Some sort of dark green and something light. I don't know. How we were going to get to this state of matrimony, I don't know... but I have a few ideas. Check out these scenarios.
Green Card-I will move to Canada soon becasue I have some strange fascination with it. Then the Canadian health care system will become so amazing that every citizen lives to be like over 150 years old. Needless to say, many will try to become Canadian citizens. There will be so many in fact that the waitlist will be like 20 years or something. Thus, we will get married so Anna can skip that and get some fancy health care real quick.
Long Arm of the Law-In the future reality TV will become so huge that it infiltrates the justice system. We will both have run ins with the law and be forced into the custody of an evil production company. We will then be forced to marry for some reality show with mismatched spouses. You know, hot girls with guys that watch Star Trek and like reading maps. Our ratings will be awesome due to my incredible Tom Brokaw impression that I will implement at least once in every episode.
Multiverse-According to multiverse theory, there are an infinite number of "universes", each for every possible outcome of every situation. Thus, there exists an infinite number of realities where we are married. Its that simple. But, in many of these realities towels don't even exist, and I will also not be funny. Can you imagine that? No comedy and mildewed hair. Scary.
I am Awesome-I will do something so awesome that every woman alive will want me. What will this be? I don't know. Maybe I'll invent something really cool, like fried chicken that makes you healthy. Or I'll fix every movie to be at least on par with Tremors. Yeah, that'll work. Then I will have my pick of everyone, and I will pick Anna because she knows how to correctly use the word "lampy".
Anyway, I should focus on reality a bit more. Or maybe not. Dreaming is fun. Especially eating in dreams. Like the time Tim had a lucid dream and all he did was make a sandwich. That's awesome. Keep it surreal ya'll.
Green Card-I will move to Canada soon becasue I have some strange fascination with it. Then the Canadian health care system will become so amazing that every citizen lives to be like over 150 years old. Needless to say, many will try to become Canadian citizens. There will be so many in fact that the waitlist will be like 20 years or something. Thus, we will get married so Anna can skip that and get some fancy health care real quick.
Long Arm of the Law-In the future reality TV will become so huge that it infiltrates the justice system. We will both have run ins with the law and be forced into the custody of an evil production company. We will then be forced to marry for some reality show with mismatched spouses. You know, hot girls with guys that watch Star Trek and like reading maps. Our ratings will be awesome due to my incredible Tom Brokaw impression that I will implement at least once in every episode.
Multiverse-According to multiverse theory, there are an infinite number of "universes", each for every possible outcome of every situation. Thus, there exists an infinite number of realities where we are married. Its that simple. But, in many of these realities towels don't even exist, and I will also not be funny. Can you imagine that? No comedy and mildewed hair. Scary.
I am Awesome-I will do something so awesome that every woman alive will want me. What will this be? I don't know. Maybe I'll invent something really cool, like fried chicken that makes you healthy. Or I'll fix every movie to be at least on par with Tremors. Yeah, that'll work. Then I will have my pick of everyone, and I will pick Anna because she knows how to correctly use the word "lampy".
Anyway, I should focus on reality a bit more. Or maybe not. Dreaming is fun. Especially eating in dreams. Like the time Tim had a lucid dream and all he did was make a sandwich. That's awesome. Keep it surreal ya'll.
