Saturday, November 01, 2003
I finally found the perfect breakfast cereal thanks to Rite-Aid. It just happened to be the cheapest thing there. What is it? Total. So awesome, for quite a few reasons.
•It contains all those wonderful vitamins and minerals that ward off the plague and acts of domestic terrorism.
•It does not contain much vitamin A, which they now believe can hurt you lungs and funnels money to Bin Laden.
•It contains as much calcium as fat, which is so incredibly unnatural that it makes Al Qaeda put down the guns and make paper cranes.
•It doesn’t taste too bad when you start but becomes thoroughly disgusting by the end of the bowl which keeps you from eating too much and thus frees up grain to be delivered to hungry, middle eastern refugees.
•And if my memory serves me correct, it makes your pee really yellow, which can render night vision goggles useless preventing midnight guerillas from invading your house and ransacking your laundry room.
Anyway…..
•It contains all those wonderful vitamins and minerals that ward off the plague and acts of domestic terrorism.
•It does not contain much vitamin A, which they now believe can hurt you lungs and funnels money to Bin Laden.
•It contains as much calcium as fat, which is so incredibly unnatural that it makes Al Qaeda put down the guns and make paper cranes.
•It doesn’t taste too bad when you start but becomes thoroughly disgusting by the end of the bowl which keeps you from eating too much and thus frees up grain to be delivered to hungry, middle eastern refugees.
•And if my memory serves me correct, it makes your pee really yellow, which can render night vision goggles useless preventing midnight guerillas from invading your house and ransacking your laundry room.
Anyway…..
