Thursday, January 16, 2003
After my dad's stroke we're supposed to be monitoring various vital statistics including weight, blood pressure, and blood sugar. We finally bought a scale a few days ago. It is one of those new fangled body fat ones, so not only does it tell you your weight, but also what percentage of that weight is fat. (If I want to be all technical and nerdy about it like I have been trained to be for the last few years I would be using the word “mass” instead of “weight”. In fact I think that is a good idea… for me to POOP ON!!! At any rate….) So after messing with it for a while I have determined that I weigh 135 lbs. with 9% body fat. This is low. The ideal male is 15% and the average American male is 23%.
So 9% of 135 lbs. is about 12 lbs. Take out the cushion needed for my brain and that leaves 9 lbs. of fat for me to do with what I will. That is approximately 32,000 Calories, or 32,000,000 calories. If somehow it were possible for me to bike completely aerobically with fat metabolism running near 100% and without fatigue or hunger, at my pace of about 16 mph, or 500 Calories per hour, it would take me over 64 hours, or about 3 days, of straight riding until I started to eat my own brain. That is assuming my body doesn’t react to the stress of such a ride and start breaking down muscles and other less vital organs, which it certainly would. Also, good aerobic exercise burns about 70% fat if I’m not mistaken. Biking has many spikes into anaerobic territory. And I would certainly run out of glucose, the brain’s fuel, by the end and it wouldn’t matter that I was eating said brain. Fat is an amazing substance. I doubt anyone has ever starved to death. Protein depletion and hypoglycemia would kill you off quite a bit sooner.
As for my heart, my resting blood pressure is about 120 over about 65 with a pulse of about 65. I haven’t checked my blood sugar. It’s probably normal. I still don’t know what my blood type is. My birth certificate says A+ and the Red Cross says it is O+. Maybe they are just trying to trick me into giving more blood. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Red Cross nurse outside or in a mirror. Spooky, eh?
So 9% of 135 lbs. is about 12 lbs. Take out the cushion needed for my brain and that leaves 9 lbs. of fat for me to do with what I will. That is approximately 32,000 Calories, or 32,000,000 calories. If somehow it were possible for me to bike completely aerobically with fat metabolism running near 100% and without fatigue or hunger, at my pace of about 16 mph, or 500 Calories per hour, it would take me over 64 hours, or about 3 days, of straight riding until I started to eat my own brain. That is assuming my body doesn’t react to the stress of such a ride and start breaking down muscles and other less vital organs, which it certainly would. Also, good aerobic exercise burns about 70% fat if I’m not mistaken. Biking has many spikes into anaerobic territory. And I would certainly run out of glucose, the brain’s fuel, by the end and it wouldn’t matter that I was eating said brain. Fat is an amazing substance. I doubt anyone has ever starved to death. Protein depletion and hypoglycemia would kill you off quite a bit sooner.
As for my heart, my resting blood pressure is about 120 over about 65 with a pulse of about 65. I haven’t checked my blood sugar. It’s probably normal. I still don’t know what my blood type is. My birth certificate says A+ and the Red Cross says it is O+. Maybe they are just trying to trick me into giving more blood. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Red Cross nurse outside or in a mirror. Spooky, eh?
